1. |
To Want To Be
06:37
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You took your first breath
And opened your eyes
You their new offspring
They held you with pride
You were their progeny
And full of surprise
Don’t you want to want to want to
Can’t you want to want to want to
Won’t you live a life alive
Will you want to want to want to
Can you want to want to want to
Won’t you be and be a life
2am feedings
Attachment secure
6am crying
A pain to endure
Don’t you want to want to want to
Can’t you want to want to want to
Won’t you live a life alive
Will you want to want to want to
Can you want to want to want to
Won’t you be and be a life
You look like him and smile like her
But now you must find just who you are
What will you see
Who will you be
You gave them meaning
For more than themselves
You were the reason
To be more than a self
Don’t you want to want to want to
Can’t you want to want to want to
Won’t you live a life alive
Will you want to want to want to
Can you want to want to want to
Won’t you be and be a life
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2. |
Slow Little Angel
05:18
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Time to play a game
Time to waste away
Time to make mistakes
Time to do it all again
A feeling inside
Feeling alive
Feeling that feeling that feels that there’s something you can’t hide
A growing desire
A push to inspire
Feeling that feeling that feels like there’s something more to life
Time to go to school
Time to obey the rules
Time to play the fool
Time to be so cool
A feeling inside
Feeling alive
Feeling that feeling that feels that there’s something you can’t hide
A growing desire
A push to inspire
Feeling that feeling that feels like there’s something more to life
What a sight to watch you walk and then have you walk away
What a fright to watch you fall and see you climb back up again
What a night the night you cried when the monsters came for you
What a fight when you were young and thought that you knew it all
Slow up my little angel and enjoy what you have
Slow up my little angel
Slow up my little angel enjoy what you have
Slow up my little angel
A feeling inside
Feeling alive
Feeling that feeling that feels that there’s something you can’t hide
A growing desire
A push to inspire
Feeling that feeling that feels like there’s something more to life
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3. |
Between The Two
05:52
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Is it my fault, they seem so upset
Is it my fault, they do not relent
They once were happy and now disagree
We once were happy there’s no guarantee
Between the two
Between the two
Planets crash black holes form future starts anew
Between the two
Between the two
What do I do
It isn’t your fault, you did nothing wrong
It isn’t your fault, they couldn’t love you more
It is what it is, roses whither and die
It is what it is, no matter how much you cry
Between the two
Between the two
Planets crash black holes form future starts anew
Between the two
Between the two
What do I do
It isn’t your fault, others’ dreams fade away
It isn’t your fault, you could not make them stay
It is what it is, sometimes day becomes night
It is what it is, sometimes dark becomes light
It isn’t your fault, please don’t hole up and hide
It isn’t your fault, please don’t keep it inside of you
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4. |
Wild
04:33
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She was scared I was impaired the two had moved apart
I played dumb that I was numb and got what I would want
School was through I paid my dues lasting through the class
I got my B or maybe C whatever just to pass
On my own I now behold all I can get from life
I suck the marrow from the bone of parties every night
Mom was old I grew cold her rules became like chains
Now I’m free so I can be young and unrestrained
Wild so wild so wild
The U had dudes and lots of booze I imbibed in both of them
Books were closed and I opposed the path so straight ahead
Snort some white barroom fight bitch don’t mess with me
Grab your bong I don’t belong to the uptight sorority
Prof was deaf gave me an F said he didn’t want to hear
My excuse to let loose I should get myself in gear
School got old I grew cold their rules became like chains
Now I’m free so I can be young and unrestrained
Wild So wild So wild
To get a stash need some cash so I got myself some work
Met a boy that I enjoyed but he turned into a jerk
Trashed my place I can’t replace what he took from me
Its so hard to be scarred in this society
Went to group spit in my soup faced my inner ghosts
Got my chip never skipped loved myself the most
I got clean and lost my mean threw off the chains
Now I’m free so I can be young and unrestrained
Wild Once So wild So wild
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5. |
White Walk
04:39
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Walked on the fallen autumn leaves
Tattered shreds that looked like me
Blowing away
Find your roots and settle down
Seasons change and come around
You’ll learn to know yourself to know your path
You’ll want to open up to have a chance
Talked through the everlasting night
Held you close so near so tight
Staying around
Find your white down the aisle
Let him know you’re worthwhile
You’ll learn to know yourself to know your path
You’ll want to open up to have a chance
Walked through the open honey doors
With views of the gleaming ocean shores
Bringing the tides
Find your love and let it shine
Forget your past and redefine
You’ll learn to know yourself to know your path
You’ll want to open up to have a chance
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6. |
Being With You
07:58
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She took her first breath
And opened up her eyes
Looked into your face
And opened up the skies
Cried tears of tenderness
And tears of basic need
I so need your little smile need your warm and grasping hands
Need the need you have for me and all of your base demands
Need the sight of your chest watch as you take a breath
Need the coos and squeaks and cries
Need my feeling of surprise
In being with you, of being with you
So soft
So hard
So much
So scarred
So good
So bad
So happy
So sad
There are times when I feel I don’t belong
I’m not good enough and I’m doing something wrong
There are times when I realize my worth
And my greatest day was the day of your birth
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7. |
This Love
04:15
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This time I play the role of dutiful wife
This time I will control my anger and strife
Next time you speak to me with utter disgust
Next time I may foresee the growing distrust
This Love
Can hurt all the same
This Love
How long will it stay
This Love
You don’t need to obey
This Love
May wither away
May wither away
May wither and die
This time you can’t decide what I am to do
This time I retrieve my pride I’m equal unto you
Next time there’s no alibi to give up my heart
Next time I won’t live the lie death do us part
This Love
Can hurt all the same
This Love
How long will it stay
This Love
You don’t need to obey
This Love
May wither away
This Love
Can hurt all the same
This Love
Has withered away
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8. |
Goodbye
04:21
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From the time you were born I was dreading this coming day, what to say when I see you drive away. I had been lost coming at a cost but in you I found some purpose and reason. I still remember the little things I’d do for you to help you grow into the person you are now. You’ve become yourself but there are times I see myself in you and now I see that I am losing myself as well.
When I was so very young I thought I’d be a lousy mother things don’t seem to always be what you thought that they might
The daily talks and nightly walks sharing my life with you
helped me learn helped me yearn for identity
Goodbye my little angel sweetly grown
Goodbye spread your wings and fly
Goodbye walk strongly in the world
Goodbye time for you to live your life
When I was so very young I couldn’t imagine already being a mother not a baby not the same thing an adult just like me
In looking back as I unpack our relationship I pushed you here you pulled me there and we created each other
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9. |
Second Chances
05:00
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Holed up inside yourself is nowhere you want to be
Like a snail that’s hungry and afraid
I remember sitting in my room
Dreaming of a prince to rescue me
I remember cold November days
My lonely tears washed over me
Holed up with your child as your image of success
Like a shadow blocking out the sun
I remember feeling so alone
Wanting two to change to three
I remember hearing from the wall
My mother’s tears washed over me
The tinsel hung from the rafters the night we met
Something in your eyes they spoke to me
No running away or losing my glass slipper
No silly games just honesty
Holed up in an embrace speaks like summer’s dawn
The warmth of time this time this time
I remember sitting in my room
Dreaming I’m a queen for just a day
I remember the dream has come true
This love is the love
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10. |
Shine
05:05
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Skies may darken and signal the coming storm
The winds howling that there’s something very wrong
Thunder sings a song that won’t dissipate
Tells a pathos you don’t want to anticipate
Place your head on your love’s naked chest
The rise and fall suggests a thought you so suppressed
Hair once so brown has now become grey
Long-term wrinkles are all now on display
I can see you can’t breath as you fall so quickly on the street
Clamp my hands pound your chest as your heart comes to rest
Not a beat not a sound can’t even move to you I’m bound
No, the blue in your eyes stare straight up to say goodbye
I don’t know what to do who I am when I’m not with you
This can’t be don’t you see the pain too much misery
Don’t wanna live wanna die why’s this happening
Skies will lighten and the rain will soon end
The reasons why though you may never comprehend
It may seem that the sun will never shine again
It will shine you will shine
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11. |
This Is Me
05:56
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Every day I wonder I don’t know
People call and tell me what to do
Every day’s asunder I don’t show
Sit alone with nothing left to do
Who am I now with the ghosts of these memories
Who am I now with the tides of this emptiness
Every day I ponder where to go
People call and tell me what to do
Every day I squander I forego
My life, this life I plan on breaking through
This is me now a grounded bird learning how to fly
This is me now once so scared but ready to try
This is me now a lust for life that I can’t deny
This is me now not quite ready to say goodbye
Every day I wonder I now know
People call I tell them what to do
Every day a wonder I now show
Who I am and what I’m gonna do
This is me now a minor semblance to the former me
This is me now a ray of sun I could not foresee
This is me now a wounded child now set free
This is me now you’ve become who you want to be
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12. |
Oblivion
04:13
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I can see oblivion
Darkness so insidious
I will leave with no fear
As my body disappears
I
I can see oblivion
Hungry arms enfolding me
I’ve cried my last tears
As my body disappears
I
My time
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mdr Fort Lauderdale, Florida
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