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Belonging

by mdr

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1.
Touching Me 04:14
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Coming out of the ocean Beneath the glittering sky A newfound emotion I don’t want to deny Touching me Touching me and hold me tight Falling from the heavens Above the foggy past A light in a dark room So strong and so vast Don’t you see I know the pain Don’t you see we feel the same Growing from the bottom Within a smoldering heart Ropes intertwining Obscuring the scars Touching me Touching me and hold me tight
2.
Fishing for Love 04:22
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Gave me a request, then you confessed, said you are home all alone You seemed to be nice, we talked with no price, not quite ready for the phone We had a safe space, go at a slow pace, just a few pics to exchange Once every three days, so many new ways, a meet we’ll have to arrange I try to answer why I can’t come tonight, everything is oh so right my heart burns so bright I think I know you, though I can’t hold you, I love you nevertheless You can just move here, we can just go where, we can kiss and caress At night my fingers, move and then linger, they will have to make do My bed is lonely, you are the only, I’m saving myself for you I want to hold you tight make love to you tonight make everything oh so right and we can unite You stole my eyes, my mouth, my smile He loves your lies, your cries, your style You stole my days, my nights, my self He loves a dream, a dream, not me I hide behind lies to allow my broken side to feel what I’m deprived so that I survive You think you know me, can’t even show me, how can you know me from afar Give me a shout out, say it with no doubt, a word and a phrase no more What will you like next, a photo or plain text, a friend who isn’t a friend Please don’t IM me, don’t like or agree, I know this is all just pretend
3.
Three Minutes 05:29
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His hands touch me a spider across a web Wrapping me tight so I can’t breathe Pressing down leaving no room to move The tears become my silent scream Don’t talk don’t move don’t see Don’t feel don’t think don’t breathe You can’t silence my voice You can’t negate my choice Three minutes now a lifetime affair You can’t swallow your guilt You can’t forget what you killed My mind shatters into deadly shards Time moves forward like dreams to the grave I smell the garlic of the evening’s repast My vomit stuck in my throat Don’t talk don’t move don’t see Don’t feel don’t think don’t breathe Back and forth he’s fast and then stops The weight leaves as does the pain Black and red all inside my head And yet he still remains Don’t talk don’t move don’t see Don’t feel don’t think don’t breathe You can’t silence my voice You can’t negate my choice Three minutes now a lifetime affair You can’t swallow your guilt You can’t forget what you killed
4.
My Little Sunshine 04:10
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My little sunshine I see you rise every day, leave and go your way My little sunshine In you is a piece of me, in ways you can’t see Who am I? ATCG I’m more than threads of DNA Who am I? Scared and carefree Spread my wings to fly away My little sunshine Your future is in your hands, they might go against my plans My little sunshine We raised you to have a voice, its on you to make a choice Who am I? ATCG I’m more than threads of DNA Who am I? Scared and carefree Spread my wings to fly away Listen up heed my advice Listen up don’t think twice I don’t want to see you hurt I don’t want you not to hurt We just want you to belong Trust in me you raised me right protected me then you showed me life But most of all you gave me room cut the cord from my cozy womb I am free which then allows my curiosity to be aroused I’m not alone when I’m alone I am strong since I belong
5.
In the Zoo 04:54
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Thrown in with all the pheromones testosterone overtones A primal urge in a social role Conformity Waking up in the domicile bondable conjugal Read the script line by line Uniformity In the zoo me and you Caged together In the zoo me and you No escape In the zoo me and you Ritual In the zoo me and you Mating call Attraction from the unconscious thoughtless Adonis Heat and musk in a rhythmic thrust Barbarity Flesh and bone of the masculine feminine androgyn Costumed actors in a banal show Perversity Took a pill a cheap little thrill break the chains of the have to Took a sip thrust of the hip loosen the straps for the breakthrough Took a ride opened wide unleash the beast living inside Took a taste so sweet and debased In the zoo me and you Caged together In the zoo me and you No escape In the zoo me and you Ritual In the zoo me and you Mating call
6.
Entwined 03:57
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As the wind sings a song suddenly I belong To the trees and the dust I move on by the gust I fall down I fall down from the sky I fall down I fall down never dry As the breeze moves a sea change the land can’t believe For the waves beat the shore coast that was never more Heat me up heat me up to the sky Heat me up heat me up liquefy My flesh your flesh now fresh what was dead My skin your skin now kin what was shed My blood your blood now mud in the ground My mind your mind entwined we are bound As the storm sweeps the seeds new life will now proceed In the ground from the past what is now will never last I fall down heat me up drink me in I fall down heat me up through your skin My flesh your flesh now fresh what was dead My skin your skin now kin what was shed My blood your blood now mud in the ground My mind your mind entwined we are bound
7.
My Pledge 06:29
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Currently there are approximately 196 independent countries in the world, depending on who is counting. What an arbitrary demarcation of geography, which separates the people, animals, resources, and landscape from others. I defy I don’t pledge allegiance to any flag I don’t pledge my loyalty to any man I don’t pledge privilege for my birthplace I don’t pledge my love of what we call the human race There are 7.5 billion people in the world. Almost half of them live on less than $2.50 a day. 22,000 children die each day due to poverty. The richest 10% of the population consumes 60% of all the consumption. In Europe $50 million was spent in one year on cigarettes. I defy I don’t pledge allegiance to any flag I don’t pledge my loyalty to any man I don’t pledge privilege for my birthplace I don’t pledge my love of what we call the human race What do you see when you look at me My age, my tongue, my race Places in the world I can’t visit cause My name, my sex, my face In 2012 world governments spent over 1.7 trillion dollars on global military expenditure. The United States accounts for about half of that amount. Approximately 200 million people died in wars during the 20th century. This includes civilians, women, and children. Is this what it means to be human?
8.
Secret Language 05:57
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The elm tree so high Climbing up to the sky Hear your voice, “Just try you can make it all the way” We are united as one We are united as one We are peculiar each one We are peculiar each one Secret Language speak without words Secret Language words without doubt The passed down red dress Printed with floral excess Hear your voice, “Confess it fit better on me” We are united as one We are united as one We are peculiar each one We are peculiar each one Secret Language speak without words Secret Language words without doubt Secret Language blood within blood Secret Language home within home The school’s yearly dance Giving me my last chance Hear your voice, “Just ask you’re worthy of her” We are united as one We are united as one We are peculiar each one We are peculiar each one Secret Language speak without words Secret Language words without doubt
9.
Pump Your Fist 04:20
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Pump your fist in the air tonight Pump your fist to the crowd’s delight In your room you don the garb with the leather and the chains your hair stylized On the prowl with the like in mind one and the same so that you’re now disguised In the hall you shift as one bow your heads and become baptized Pump your fist in the air tonight Pump your fist to the crowd’s delight On the street your favorite t you walk on by hear the call of the line With a smile a knowing look a lyrical connection through a hand sign Through the doors on your feet push to the front of the metal shrine Pray all night with the congregate the herbs the beer the wine Pump your fist in the air tonight Pump your fist to the crowd’s delight In the store with the cool décor you bump a fist while you shoot the breeze From the past a tale unfolds while the chorus rings live from overseas Give and take you speak the word a top ten playlist that won’t displease Through the door in the leather boots say goodbye during the last reprise Pump your fist in the air tonight Pump your fist to the crowd’s delight Pump your fist in the air tonight Pump your fist scream and shout
10.
Dad 04:42
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Dad I remember the sound of your voice the smell of your shirt It’s been so long twenty-five years but still I remember Time slips away You never stay Always remain with me Nary a day Even today You don’t remain with me Dad I remember cigarettes and ice summers in the shop Bump of a car talks from afar and still I remember Time slips away You never stay Always remain with me Nary a day Even today You don’t remain with me I see the dirt fall between my fingers land on the wood in a shallow grave I see my kids grow and never knowing the man I knew from which I came I see a little smile a silver bracelet touches my skin connection I crave Dad I remember tuxedos and bars flea market stops on the road Cats in a closet a casket now closed and still I remember Time slips away You never stay Always remain with me Nary a day Even today You don’t remain with me
11.
In the Traffic 08:11
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On a cold November day I stood in the rain Waiting for you I heard the hardened man say might be time to pray Waiting for you On the cold barren concrete not even a sheet Waiting for you Oh so scared to try to sleep I’m soon on the street Waiting for you In the traffic I am not my own In the traffic Bought and sold Hey little girl wanna see something big I got a needle for ya it will be just a prick Got me some friends who I think you should meet Got me some friends who will give you a treat Hey little girl why ya gonna cry I need ya baby you’re my main supply Got us some pills they’ll take away the pain Got us some pills they’ll flow through your veins I can’t move on I can’t find meaning in life I call your name “You’ll be home soon” I recite I can’t hold on I can’t find meaning in life I cry your name pray my wrist meets the knife I hold you in an embrace and tell you “I love you” I wait for the day till you tell me “I love you” And I’ll give you my fist I’ll give you my fist I’ll give you my fist til you love me I don’t know how I eat without any taste I wander round feel so out of place I don’t know how I got so misplaced I see my body my mind go to waste No sleep tonight pain feels too tight death seems all right bring me relief Red stains remain break off the chains please numb my brain I can’t dream Hope hell no joke push pound prod poke punch face kick choke I don’t belong All must escape love sex hate rape whole heart black shape I am alive One day the door knocks he forgets the main lock I run and don’t walk cross the dark block Finally free scream like a banshee Kneel down on my knees hugging the street I tell my full tale too vivid detail Put him in jail throw away the key Still taste the fear its still so unclear What’s far what’s near who am I I’m innocent she was willing I’m innocent she’s a liar I’m innocent it was mutual I’m innocent she’s a freak I’m innocent she played me I’m innocent she’s overage I’m innocent she’s a siren I’m innocent it wasn’t me I can’t find that side of me that is you I can’t find what’s false or what’s true I can’t find piece of mind the reason why I can’t find space to hide a sense of being alive On a cold November day I stood in the rain The rain can’t wash away the fear and the pain But I’m still alive And I’m still alive

about

Who do you belong to? Who belongs to you? In what ways? Do you expect more from this belonging than they are willing to give? How are you connected to the world?

credits

released October 4, 2016

mdr: Guitar, Bass, Keyboards, Drum Loops Arrangement
Mackenzie Anderson: Vocals
Jessica Elalouf: Vocals
Jonathan Rojas: Vocals
Harrison Campbell: Guitar & Bass on In The Traffic
Koji Reiter: Laughs, Giggles & Love on Dad

All songs written, performed, produced, mixed, and mastered by mdr

Album cover photo by Chris Burnett: chrisburnettimages.com

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mdr Fort Lauderdale, Florida

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